I feel absolutely crappy. But I am powering through my wordcount, even though it means absolutely dreadful spelling. It pains me to see the vomit all over this book, but oh well. That inner editor is good and locked up, as this (unedited bleh) section shows. I hope y'all can see the foreshadowing in here, though, because by golly it is there. Look for it. If you can guess what the pale gentleman is, five bajillion bonus points.

CHAPTER 3
>In which Main awakens in rather difficult circumstances, has difficulties with elves, gets to know his party, and continues to search for his trousers.<

Main groaned and sat up. His back, his legs, his hips, his shoulders, his /head/ -- it seemed as if every part of him was hurting. He put out a hand to steady himself as he out the other to his pounding forehead and felt, instead of plush velvet over swans' down, dirt, pebbles, and dry, sharp blades of grass. His eyes popped open, his hand left his forehead, and he lifted the dirty hand to examine it and make sure that ist was not just his imagination. As he brushed his hand off, he stared at the tiny rocks and soil that he found unti lsuddenly his memory caught up with him. /Of course!/ he thought. /We're on the orad, to catch the fiend whi humiliated me!/ Hie confusion gone, he brusehed off his hand entire ly and stood up, cracking his bakc to get rid of the residual stiffness. As he stood over the small campsite, he groaned again, nand prepared to wake the rest of the trtavelling party. /he/ was the one hwho whad hirded them, and by bthe Tmeple of Sheu, he would get his moeny's worth out of them.

"Come on, you ruffians! Wake up and see the sunshine! It's a bright new day and there is a camp to be broken, a road to get on, and a prince to feed! Look lively!"

Muffled groans, moans, and assorted other waking up noises issued fro the woollen lumps that were the other team members' bedrolls. Main noticed one looked suspiciously small, so he ventured over to it and gave it a poeke — some of the report s had mentioned people mysteriously being replaced by small animals, rocks, stickes, items of clothing, and sometimes even foold. Nobody had the heart ito tdo much mor e than throw these away, though Main secretly hoped that he had been turned into a pair of pants. His continuing lack of pants still irked him, and anyway a kilt provided way more ventilation thatn Main really preferred. When he got to hthe bedroll, however, it was evident that it hadn't been slept in at all. Main looked around in confusion. It appeared that one of his party members had gone missing! as he prepared to call out his name — la what was it? Lord someting or other? — when ihe noticed a note pinned to the front of the blanket.

"I have woken early. Gone to get breakfast. Be bakc. ~LSF," read the terse notea. the elaborateneddss of tehe handwriting, hoewever, belied its shortness. THe capitals were adorned lavishly with embellishments and curlicues; even hthe lower caese letters ewere beautifully rouinded and penned. Main fingered the note; it was thikck parchment, with ink black as ebony. AAARGH PURPLE PROSE LETS CONTINUE. as Main continued to stare at the note, absolutely flabbergasted that anyone would try this hard at writing a simple note, he heard lthe leaves to left crackle with his preternaturally sharp hearing. he looked up sharply. The pale gentleman whose name still escaped Main was leaning nonchalantly, a slight red stain on his otherwise immaculate tall collar, and a pair of bunnies, clearly daead, dangling from his other hand, whoese finger seemsed limp even though it was evident that the bunnies' legs were firmly in his grasp. /the gentlyeman raised and eyebrow and said languidly, "I hppe you did not miss me. I did not wish to alarm, but ... my sleep habits are, whow you say ... unusual. I do not sleep much, so I decided to help out our /intrepid/ band and catch us some breakfasst. I hope you do not mind, but I have alreadly eaten. i prefer my food ... fresh." He proffeered the bunnies, slthough he kept to the sahodows. "Would you like thsese fro your breakfast, or shall I dispose of the ... carcasses?" The gentleman (whose name was irritqatinglyu wiped from Main's memory) looked sidewise at Main.

Main frowned at him, then acrefully took the rabbits from the hands of the gentleman whose name was stubbornly refusing to make itself known to him. "... Thanky you," he said deliberately, then took a long stwp back and turned, keeping one eye trained on the gentleman with the difficult name. he walked over to the dbedrolls which he believed belogedt to the androgynous elf twins, sitill stepping lightly out otf perturbation frojm his odd encounter with the pale gentleman, and carrying the rabbits as far away from his body as he possibbly could. when he reached the twins, he lightly nudged one of tehem with ihis foot, trying to get the elf bnearest him to wake up. "Are you awake?" Main asked, pushing the elf's arm with his big toe. "Hello?"
The elf's head lolled to the side, revealing a small sore. Main sscowled and squinted at hit, leaning down to investigate further. The limp bunnies' feet dangled mere inches above the elf's chest as Main poked the sore with a cautious finger. he wondered what could have causes it - the brisk aiutumn air of the forsest discouraged insects, and he didn't see any footprints near the bedroll which would mean a small creature had bitten the elf. Pale hair pilled out of the blanket as Main pushed the elf's head further to the siede. he leaned in for a closer look, and the rabbits' feet brushed againtst the elf's chest.

"BROCCOLI!" the elf exclaimed, sitting up in his blankets. Main jumped back to avoid having his nose crushed by the suddelnloy energetic elf. "Whoa there!" he yelled, surprised. "Are you alright? You seemed a bit ... limp."

"Me? Oh, I'm completly fine! I sleep very deeply — it takes quite a bit to wake me up. Usually my sister is the one who wakes me up."

"Your sister, eh? What did you say your names were again?"

Teh second elf sat up, shaking out her long blonde hair. "My name is Last Fisrt Middle, and my brother's name here is Someone." She gestured gracefully at herself and her brother as she spoke. Main was temporarily entranced by her, unused to elvish beauty, then shook his head and porffered the limp dead rabbits. "I remembered that you mentioned you had some skill with cooking. Prepare thses for our breakfast."

"Rabbits, hmm?" she looked them over. "When do you need them by?" she looked up into Main's face, deliberately transfixing him with her bright blue gaze. "If I have at least five minutes, the quality will be much better than food I need to make in a hurry."

Main looked at her in surprise and astonishment. "What? No, we shouldn't be moving out for half an hour or so. take all the time you need." he truned away, then suddenly had a thpought (a rare occurence) and turned back to her. "You can eat rabbit, right? You're not, like, vegetarian or anything?"

"Vegetarian?" Last smiled, revealing sharp, long canines. "Of course not. Elves are carnivores. Exclusively."

Main nodded in releif, then started as he heard a violent caughing and stumbling from beihind him. He spun around and saw the pale getnleman with the extrememly difficult name to remember teaning over, his face a pale pink color, pounding his cheast and coughing. Main frowned at him and said in concern, "I say, lord ... whatever your name is, are you all right?"